Meg Moroney could not have said it better, God bless the girls! I cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I am for my sweet friends because I could talk about that all day. Friendship is such a beautiful gift from the Lord and truly makes life even better than it already is. Within the Bible there is so much scripture just on friendship and it highlights what an important aspect it is to have in our lives. It brings so much joy and helps us all grow in so many ways. But with that being said friendships can be a little messy at times as I’m sure we all know… Although friendship is one of the biggest blessings it can also bring a lot of hurt. There’s no manual on how to be a good friend, but I bet we all wish there was! Even though there isn't, we still have a pretty good, if not the best example of what a true friend looks like and that is Jesus. I think we often forget that we have the bestest friend we could ever ask for in Him. There is so much joy to be found in that friendship and there is also so much we can learn and apply to our real world friendships. So here are five big things I’ve learned and that I think are key in friendships!
- Forgiveness is so important to have in a friendship. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes and say things we shouldn’t or act a little petty sometimes. But that doesn’t give us an excuse to hold a grudge. Think about all of the times you’ve messed up, did Jesus completely cut you out and ignore you? No he didn’t, he actually did the complete opposite and was waiting for you with open arms. (Ephesians 4:31-32) I know that it is so so so hard to forgive someone when they have wronged you and hurt you so deeply. But a little secret I have for you: holding a grudge just makes you feel worse. If you let that anger and hurt sit, you’re just going to stay upset and make yourself feel miserable. Forgiving someone doesn’t have to be a big act or proclamation. You can simply just say “I’m choosing to forgive that person” and then move on from the situation. And you don’t have to best friends with that person again, but you can’t let your hurt sit and fester. Forgive and move on. (Luke 17:3-4) You don’t have to speak to that person ever again if you don’t want to but choose to forgive them in your heart and move on from the situation.
- Take accountability (Galatians 6:5) No one wants to hang out with someone who blames everything on other people and thinks they’re perfect. Personally I find people like that annoying and immature. I know it sucks having to admit you messed up and it’s definitely a little embarrassing but it's something you have to do. Having #selfawareness is a life skill that you’re gonna have to learn sooner or later (preferably sooner) yasssss #adulting. So when you mess up and say something mean or hurt your friend’s feelings take accountability. Go to them and apologize. No one likes to be in that awkward limbo of thinking your friend is mad at you and not addressing it and then having the weird tension, you get what I’m saying. But all of that can be avoided if you simply go to your friend and own your actions. Not only is it going to make them feel better, but you will also! (Proverbs 10:12) Or even if you're not the one in the wrong, be the bigger person and address the issue head on. Doing this helps your friendships to thrive.
- Be a good listener (James 1:19). There is nothing better than having a friend that you can vent to and being able to just word dump on, or having a friend who will let you sit there and cry it out. My friends have been my saving grace too many times to count when I’ve been upset about a situation. They know all too well when something is bugging me and they happily sit there and listen to me word dump it all out to them. So if you know how amazing it is to have friends like that, be that friend. Be the friend who will happily sit and listen to your friends problems. We can get so caught up in our own lives and distracted, but be intentional with your friends and listen to what they’re saying.
- It’s important to remember that friendship isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes it will be 60/40 or 30/70. Life has so many ups and downs and can be hectic. Your best friend may be in a really busy season of life and can’t give 50% to your friendships right now, her best may be only 30% and that’s ok. Sometimes we have to pull a carry a little bit more in a friendship because the other person may not be able to. Think about your relationships with Jesus, sometimes you give 90% and other times you may only give 10%. But this doesn’t stop him from loving you. He still shows up wit 100% all of the time. So show a little grace and be ok with carrying a little bit more of the friendship that you would like. Just because your friend is in a different season or going through something doesn’t mean they don’t care about your friendship (Proverbs 17:17) Show up with open arms for them just as Jesus does for you!
- Be intentional. When you have a friend that you just absolutely adore, be intentional about pouring into that friendship. Put your friends' birthdays in your Google Calendar, make notes of things like their favorite candy or Starbucks order. Leave sticky notes on their mirror about how much you love them or take the long way to class so you can walk with them. Ask them how their test went or save them a seat next to you at chapter. Things like this are so small but they are so intentional. When God puts a friend in our life it's our job to love them and love them well. There is nothing that I love more than making my friends' days brighter and being able to celebrate them. We're in such a fun season right now of 21st birthdays and I couldn’t love more even if I tried. I love being able to celebrate my friends and show them how loved they are. So, show up for friends and take steps to be intentional and pour into them. (Romans 12:10)
What a friend we truly have in Jesus, and an example we have to follow. Tell your friends how grateful you are for them because they’re such a blessing! Remember to forgive and take accountability. Be a friend who is a good listener and shows up. But don’t forget about your bestest friend Jesus, he is always with you and he’ll never leave you. Pour into your relationship with Him because that’s where you will find the most joy and then you can share that with your real world friends.