Raise your hand if you have ever had someone talk poorly about you. Raise your hand if you have ever gotten wrapped up in some silly drama. Raise your hand if someone has ever been rude to you. Just now you probably raised your hand to at least one of those three statements. In this life we will experience something of these sorts at least once, and it sucks. Having someone say something mean about you, being in the middle of nasty drama, having someone act just plain rude to you just sucks. And I am sorry if any of these things have ever happened to you because all three have happened to me and it wasn’t very fun and I can definitely say my feelings were hurt. But baby gorgeous let me tell ya something, the best thing you can do is just let them.
Growing up I had my fair share of dumb girl drama and still do to this day. We can’t control other people and how they act, but we can control our attitude and perspective. When someone is rude to us or talking about us it can be so easy to stoop down to that level and do the same. In the moment it can feel so good and liberating to snap back but then it leaves you feeling bad and regret creeps in. There will always be someone who is saying something poorly about you. There will always be someone who is rude to you. There will always be someone who wants to get you all wrapped in their drama. And you know what, let them. Let them say whatever they want about you. You cannot control their actions, but you can do is always be kind. Focus on what God says about you and show them kindness. Let them act the way they want and don’t let it affect you, because there are so many other good things you can focus on. Don’t waste your time worrying about what someone is saying about you or some silly drama they are trying to involve you in. Don’t even give it the time of day.
Now I am absolutely not trying to say be a doormat and let people walk all over you. It is good to stand up for yourself if the occasion arises. Trust me there have been plenty of times I have to do this, but what I have learned is that there is a way to do it kindly. The Bible talks about controlling the tongue and words can hurt (Proverbs 15:1). Our words can bring life or death (Proverbs 18:21-24) it is so important to remember this especially in the middle of a conflict. So let me tell you how I like to deal with drama and not be a doormat but still remain kind. There have been plenty of times when someone is saying something to me that may have not been the nicest and I simply nodded my head, said okay and walked away. Too many times have I been the victim of a nasty text thread and I hate to admit but I have also sent a nasty text or two. It’s so easy for us to say mean things and hide behind our phones. Over time I have learned that going back and forth over text messages will literally accomplish NOTHING. It’s so silly and such a waste of time. As of late my new strategy when receiving a text such as this is to keep the answer short and sweet, there’s no need to “clap back”. Sometimes I’ll even say “This isn’t really something I would want to discuss over text but I would love to talk about it in person with you!” And chances are they probably won’t want to talk about it in person and the situation will solve itself. When someone is coming at you it’s best to remember that silence is more powerful than words and if you need to speak up keep it short and sweet, and let them continue on with their drama that doesn’t involve you.
It’s so important to remember that not everyone is perfect. That person may be trying to tear you down because they are jealous of something you may have, or you might bug them in some way. You are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and not everyone is yours either. And that is completely okay. What’s not okay is tearing someone down or being rude just because they’re different from you. So many conflicts start because of someone’s insecurity or hurt that has never been healed. Everyone struggles with these things, nobody is perfect. Recognizing and understanding this has truly helped me deal with conflict and respond in a kind way and just show others grace. Always remember that you will never regret being kind. One thing that I have really come to realize and try to engrain in my brain is that God created everyone and loves us all. Remembering this has really helped me change the way I deal with conflict and drama. That one girl who just irritates every last nerve you have, she is loved and created by God. The rude customer you dealt with at work today, they are loved and created by God. The girl who just can't find one nice thing to say about you, she is loved and created by God. We don’t always know what someone may be going through and we can’t figure out why they are acting a certain way. But what we do know is that God loves them just as much as he loves us. And that’s why I am telling you to always be kind. Actions speak louder than words, the way you act will show more about who you are than what someone is saying about you. So always try and take the high road and remember that Jesus was talked about poorly, and he understands how frustrating and hurtful it can be. He is right there with you in the midst of it. And how good is he? When you stop and see Jesus in everyone it changes your heart posture and helps you love others just like he did.