A Real Talk About Singleness

Sooo this post may be a little annoying for some but we need to have a real conversation about singleness. If we're going to be real then we have to admit that being single can be SO HARD at times. I literally cried to my mom about it a few weeks ago (but I’m also a bit of a drama queen sometimes, sorry not sorry lol). If you have ever seen the clip of Charlotte York from Sex & The City where she says “I’ve been dating since I was 15, I’m exhausted, where is he?!” That was literally me this morning. Singleness can be exhausting like Charlotte said. I feel like I go through high moments where I feel super girl boss and then moments where I’m upset and asking God “where is he?!” Patience is something I struggle with, and during our time of being single it can feel like our patience is being pushed to the limit. Everyone who is married keeps telling you to just keep waiting and that God has it all planned out (which thank goodness he does) but it can be hard hearing this over and over again and we can so easily become discouraged just because we don’t have a significant other. 

Many people like to call it the “waiting season” and this honestly bugs me so much. Like what are you waiting for!? Having a significant other isn’t going to magically make your problems go away. We don’t have to be in this season of “waiting” because God can use you right where you are. You don’t need a significant other for God to work in us. I love the Bible verse “You were born for such a time as this.” Esther 4:14. God literally has you exactly where he wants you to be and is ready to work in you and use you to show his love. We don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to show and experience love. We can start showing it right now to those around us. What’s so amazing is that you are already loved by Jesus more than you can imagine. You don’t have to wait on anyone because you are already experiencing his amazing love that is more than enough for us. 

I will fully admit that being single can feel lonely at times. This is something that I find myself struggling with sometimes. But FABULOUS news!!! You are never alone, (Joshua 1:9, Psalm 23:4, 1 Chronicles 28:20) God is always with us and he will never leave us. How amazing is that?! Also just take a minute and just look around at the community you have. This is so cliche and sorority of me but when I was going through my breakup I was so thankful to have my sorority sisters. I would literally sit in the dining room crying at a table of ten girls or with my little (shoutout Sarah Strickland!!!) and in those moments I felt SO LOVED, even though I was sad, having a supportive community helped me so much. (TYJ FOR OLE MISS PI PHI!!!) Also think about your family and how much they love you! Your parents and grandparents are just a call away and they will never be upset if you call them crying, if anything they’ll be so happy you called them and want to help you. Knowing and believing that you’re never alone is soooo healing. You already have such a beautiful community of people around you, not having a significant other doesn’t mean you’re alone. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you do have. Take this time you have and pour into those friends who love you so much. Take this time to grow even closer to your family and build strong relationships with them. Lean into your community and if you’re sitting here reading this and thinking “I wish I had a community like that” go out and find one. The perfect place to start is at church or a Christian community on your campus. I cannot even begin to tell you how much my small group has helped me. (TYJ FOR OLE MISS CRU!!!) God doesn’t want us to do life alone, he created us to be in community with each other (Matthew 18:20, Romans 1:11-12, Proverbs 17:17). I can’t express and encourage you enough to go out and find a good community who is going to love, support, and encourage you on your walk with God. I know it sounds scary but pray and ask God to lead you to the right group, he will do it! Remember you are never alone, God is always with you and you are so loved.

Take this time right and learn how to girl boss. As I have said over and over again, YOU DON’T NEED A SIGNIFICANT OTHER TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Part of being single is learning how to do things on our own and how to truly rely on God. This is such a valuable lesson, it may be hard to learn (currently going through this right now) but it is a lesson you will be so thankful you learned. Having confidence in yourself and God is so valuable and a key part in our walk with him. Have confidence in what Go says about you, you are called by name and created with a purpose, confidently walk  in his declarations over you and plan for you and believe them. 

Later in the clip from Sex & The City, Samantha Jones and Carrie Bradshaw tell Charlotte that men aren’t the knights in shining armor (which yes this is correct) but then they continue to say that they have to be their own. This is the part that bugs me, we don’t have to be our own knights in shining armor because guess what, that’s God’s job. He has already won every single battle and he goes before us (1 John 4:4, Deuteronomy 31:8). God’s love is so perfect and we don’t have to save ourselves because he freely gives us the gift of salvation (Ephesians 2:8-9). When you walk with God you do not have to rely on your strength because he is right there beside us and we can rely on his strength (Psalm 55:22, Isaiah 40:31, Psalm 46:1-3). Isn’t it such good news that we literally have the free gift of salvation and get to spend our days walking with God in his love and glory!? Knowing this gives me so much comfort. 

Singleness can be hard. But in it, there is so much to learn about ourselves and God. Don’t spend this time being mopey and sad about not having a significant other, spend it working on yourself and growing stronger in your faith. Spend it pouring out into your friends and family. Look around at all that God has done for you and trust that when the time is right he’ll bring the perfect person into your life. This is also a season of growth for them as well, he’s preparing them just like he’s preparing you. God’s timing is perfect and we don’t have to worry about anything.